Who Am I as a Communicator?

SURPRISED

I was surprised at how I was rated by my two evaluators on the Verbal Aggressive Scale.  They scored me levels significant and high.  I never realized that people perceived me as an aggressive communicator.

INSIGHTS

I need to improve on my communication when it comes to verbal aggression.

I need to have more confidence in myself when it comes to public speaking.  My assessors have more confidence in me than I do in myself.

Communication

I do find that I speak to people differently.  One family that is from Jordan I speak softly and slow when I speak to the mother.  I always make sure to be attentive to her because this is how she is with me.  I find that I mirror her behavior and return that behavior out of respect.  On the other hand, I have a mother from Korea and English is her second language.  I find that I speak in very short sentences and loudly to her to make sure she understands.  First, she is not deaf but I find that speak loudly.

I have learned to avoid fake listening.  I have found that it can be harmful as well as embarrassing (Beebe & Beebe, 2011).  I have also learned that it is important to understand that every culture is different and we do not necessarily talk the same to everyone.  Finally, miscommunication between people can occur because of word that has different meanings in different countries.

 

Beebe, S. A., & Beebe, S. (2011). Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others. In Interpersonal communication; Relating to others (6th ed) (pp. 85-114). Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

Scrubs

Volume turned down

     The show that I watched was Scrubs.  The show took place in a hospital.  Based on the way the two men characters are laghing, nudging each other I would think their relationship is friends.  The other relationship is the relationship between the two men (in scrubs) and two other men who are wearing doctor’s jackets.  The two men in scrubs follow the two men in doctor’s jackets.  The men in the jackets seem to be telling the men in the scrubs what to do.  The men in the scrubs nodding in acknowledgment after the men in the jackets said something to them.

The older man’s expression shows anger and when he moves his mouth, he opens it wide and the other men’s eyes get wide.  Then one of the men’s expressions change his eyes get wide whenever this girl walks into the room.  The characters are looking confused: their look is a puzzled look.  They appear to be overwhelmed.  This was observed by the way one of the two men takes a deep breath and then exhale.  They also appear to be having fun.  This is observed when they were laughing.

Volume turned up

     Based on what I observed the assumptions I made about the men in scrubs were nurses.  The two older men in the white jackets were doctors.  I thought the plot was about a hospital with doctor and nurses.  The relationship between the man and woman I thought based on the looks that there was a romantic interest.  I believed the romantic interest was just with the man not with the woman.

My assumptions have been corrected after watching the show with the volume up.  First, the show is about a hospital, but it is a teaching hospital.  The men in scrubs were not nursed but first year doctors.  The men in the jackets are doctors but they are also teaching the men in scrubs to become doctors.  I was correct about the two men (in scrubs) are friends.

My “aha” moment

     I was right about the romance interest with the person but I was wrong about the girl.  I thought she was not interested based on her facial expressions I was wrong she was interested in the man.  I have learned not to try to read someone facial expressions.  You can be reading more into what they are thinking and that can cause problems.

My Dad

When I think of someone who exhibits the behaviors of a great communicator I think of my Dad.  The way he speaks to people draws them to him.  He can walk into a room and not know a soul and be able to strike up a conversation with someone and continue the conversation.  The behaviors I see it that he ask the people he is talking to open-ended question, he rephrase what they said and then inserts his opinion.

If I could communicate like my Dad, I would want to be able to communicate with others like he does.  I would use his approach  and be able to continue with a conversation with someone you just met.  I do not want to have that uncomfortable moment when there is nothing to say.